Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Sexual Frustrations.

I haven't wrote in a while and to be honest, it wasn't that I have been super busy but because I haven't been having sex. I know it may not be the end of the world but shit, it sure feels like it. I think it's going on two weeks now but it feels like forever. I had mentioned it a few times to my partner because it's not like him to not want to have sex. His sex drive was as high as mine so I became suspicious. No, he's not cheating but it sure called for a conversation. He said he's been in this depression because he was laid off for so long but he's been back to work for a week now so I was expecting something to change. I have expressed every day, I am sexually frustrated and nothing changed. I went as far as masturbating in the same room, hoping that would call for an invite. Nothing. I asked him last night if he wanted a blow-job, he even turned that down. Then I start to wonder, is it me? I know it's not, it can't be. I WANT TO HAVE SEX. I feel like I should know what to do but I don't. I can't force him to have sex with me if he doesn't want to but it I just can't fathom why we aren't getting it on.

I had my period this week and I pretended that was why it continued to go on this long but we have always had sex when I was on my period so I couldn't pretend too hard. I have no problem masturbating but I feel even more frustrated when I'm finished because I instantly want to pounce him and I feel like I can't. It's like wanting something that you think you should be able to have but it tells you no and you're sitting there just thinking.."what the fuck?" It's how I feel. It's really driving me crazy. I almost want to rip out my hair because I don't know how much more I can take. Maybe a break from sex is healthy but I feel like a day without is okay. Two weeks? Two long ass fucking weeks. All I know, is once we get back at it... it better be the best sex I have ever had or I'll be a little disappointed that I had to unwillingly hold out for so long.

Am I not doing something right here? Anyone out there have any advice? Do I just shut the fuck up and deal with it? I don't know...

xoxoxx, until next time...

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